Confronting Fear, Resistance & Conformity (The Triple Threat to Authentic Authority)
Confronting Fear, Resistance & Conformity (The Triple Threat to Authentic Authority)
The Soulpreneur Series Free Issue No. 19
If you’ve ever sat down to start a creative project only to feel paralyzed by invisible forces—doubt, distraction, anxiety—then you’ve met Resistance.
It’s that pesky voice pointing you to procrastinate, wait, plan some more, or, simply dust the shelves, clean the fridge, or death scroll cat videos…
It’s the chorus in your head saying you’re not ready, that what you’re about to create won’t be good enough. It’s an invisible forcefield positioned between you and (potentially) your most important work.
Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art, Do the Work, and Put your Ass [Where your Heart Wants to Be] (among other titles), has written quite a bit about Resistance.
He nails it in Put Your Ass [where your heart wants to be]:
It's our tendency — yours and mine and everyone's — to yield to procrastination, self-doubt, fear, impatience, self-inflation, self-denigration, distraction, laziness, arrogance, complacency, and perfectionism.
It's our inability to focus, our incapacity to press on through adversity. It's our terror of finishing and exposing our work to the judgment of the marketplace.
It's fear of failure. It's fear of success. Fear of humiliation. Fear of destitution. It's our inability to defer gratification, to acquire and act with self-discipline, self-validation, and self-reinforcement.
Resistance and Fear and Conformity go hand in hand in hand. The Triple Threat:
To Creativity
To Authenticity
To Personal Authority — Personal Agency
And these are not just internal processes. The Triple Threat is also fed by external pressures.
To conform, to play it safe, to meet expectations set by society, by our peers and families, or by industries often rewarding fitting-in over standing out.
Or by advanced schooling systems that enforce ‘objectivity’ and beat the “I” out of any writing. (which, of course then simply results in wrtng, which is gibberish).
If you’ve ever hidden your true creative instincts or buried an innovative idea because you feared judgment or failure, you’ve been in a battle not just with Resistance, but with Conformity.
Each led, pushed, pulled, and supported by Fear.
The Triple Threat: Fear, Resistance, and Conformity
Fear is the root of both Resistance and Conformity.
According to Jungian psychotherapist James Hollis, we live with two primal fears: the fear of being overwhelmed by life and the fear of abandonment by others.
These fears are so deep they dictate much of what we do, or decide to do, or, not do. Driving us to resist our true callings, our authenticity, and our personal agency. This then leads instead to conforming with the expectations of others.
(which ironically, are often more assumed expectations than explicit)
Resistance
That force keeping us from sitting down and doing the work that matters most. It infiltrates, or outright stops, creative processes by arriving as procrastination, self-doubt, and avoidance.
It’s a pretty universal experience, especially for creators, entrepreneurs, and anyone working to carve out their own path, do their own work, to swim against societal currents, or maybe family expectations.
And, yet, wrapped up in this triple threat — often the most rarely discussed is how Conformity can be the most dangerous form of Resistance—because it’s silent, nebulous, and socially reinforced. For some, it becomes part of their identity.
Conformity
Is deeply ingrained in many of us from lifelong interactions within it, such as the conformity-inducing institutions like families, schooling, justice systems, religion, and more.
For many, we conform because it’s easier to go along with the crowd than to stand out.
Conformity can be a form of self-sabotage driven by the same fears that create Resistance: fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of ridicule, fear of criticism, and fear of abandonment (to name a few). And, the odd one, fear of success (odd, but powerful).
Conformity is often a form of self-sabotage.
Conformity is often the path of least resistance, and it feels ‘safe’—but it’s also, often, the very thing holding us back from stepping into our authentic authority.
Into our personal agency, powered by independent choices and creativity.
All driven and supported by our Soul.
Authentic Authority and Resisting (or at least reflecting upon) Conformity
Personal authority is often the exact opposite of conformity. Not always, but frequently.
Don’t get me wrong, in societies, communities, families, etc. — there is a role for conformity and periodically conforming. Think of speed limits on busy highways for example. Or, for playing sports or card games, rules and conforming to those is part of the gig.
Where many challenges exist in conformity — is in the personal awareness, self-reflection and recognition of where one may be subject to conformity, participating in conformity, and in engaging in some critical reflection on “why?”
For example, in the last few years, I’ve taken a couple of online courses by popular Creators and successful digital entrepreneurs. I marvelled at how others taking the same course approached it like it was a school classroom.
“Am I allowed to do this?” some would ask about online activities.
If someone missed a post in a course designed to encourage posting every day, the list of apologies and excuses would ensue as if they were getting a grade and the dog ate their homework.
I would often wonder if someone was going to put their hand up on Zoom to ask if they could turn their camera off and go pee…
These sorts of habits and behaviours are generally legacies of over a decade of schooling.
Going a little deeper into our selves we may be able to identify many areas to reclaim personal agency and move away from institutionalized habits.
Giving more awareness to this work can also begin building awareness of our body indicators warning us of inauthenticity, lack of agency, or simply areas of our life that we need to pay heed to.
All part of building, igniting, and supporting personal agency.
Personal Agency
Agency, authority and authenticity are generated through making decisions from a place of internal clarity, internal motivation, and not external expectations.
Or, sometimes there isn’t clarity — there’s simply the power of choice. A decision.
I frequently raise the reality that ‘status quo’ is almost always an option and a decision. To remain in status-quo — for example, not writing and publishing a vulnerable piece — is still a decision.
Many of us live in a world constantly telling us who we ought to be, what to create, what to do, how, and how to measure success. Plus what NOT to do, what NOT to create, and so on.
As a former youth worker, a longtime youth sports coach, and various careers — the external directives (and measuring sticks) are everywhere.
As an individual positioned in an arena and an identity often privileged by the society I currently live in (white, male, heterosexual, educated, etc.), I can only speculate and listen to those who live the ‘external’ expectations different from those pressed down upon me.
For some folks, those ‘external’ expectations are enshrined in and enacted through government legislation. That can be a harsher reality than mine. And, yet, everyone is impacted by government legislation on things like marriage, family definitions, and mandatory schooling (for example).
Reclaiming and Invigorating Authentic Authority
Reinvigorating personal agency and authentic authority doesn’t necessarily need to be some ruckus act of rebellion. A cannon-firing march to epic Hans Zimmer soundtrack, or otherwise.
I thoroughly appreciate the concept of Resistance and how it flows, grows, and goes in many ways.
Resistance (internal) can certainly limit each of our own creative projects and work. It often arrives at my creative endeavours in full regalia and marching band.
“I can’t draw!” has been with me from a young age.
However, resistance is also the mantra of reclaiming or igniting personal agency and authority. As in — resisting conformity and external expectations. Or, even just dialling down its impact and grip on us.
I appreciate looking at this work from various angles and approaches. Like the metaphor I used in a recent Learning Journals Initiative article — take a look at a problem, or challenge, or project from many windows in the tower of one’s mind — not just one.
There is some common language in these areas, like “reclaim”. I’m not so sure it has to be that dramatic. Sometimes, its more about a gentle feeding, or soft ignition. Or, something completely counter like:
What about using a non-resistance approach to deal with resistance?
The Power of Internal Motivation
Agency, authority, and authenticity are generated by making decisions based on internal clarity—not external approval or directive.
Engaging deeper with one’s personal agency, facilitates navigating life’s challenges from a place of inner strength, rather than bending to what others expect.
Or, often worse, imagining, speculating and assuming what others expect (e.g., parents, mentors, superiors, etc.).
Non-Resistance and Non-Conformity (As Paths to Authentic Authority)
Here’s a paradox: while Resistance tries to keep you from doing your most important work, Non-resistance offers a way forward.
The word resistance is rooted literally in standing. This goes way back in the history of language and the word. (See ‘stance’ in the word?)
To resist means to “stand against”.
Thus, in my mind, resisting resistance is sort of like standing against standing. Or, stepping off a 3rd story deck with the belief that one can resist gravity.
We can’t.
Like the image at the beginning of this issue — a river doesn’t meet resistance and tie itself in a knot. It simply continues to do what rivers do — Flow.
Rather than fighting Resistance—pushing back against the voice that says “you can’t” or “you shouldn’t”—what if you just allowed it to exist?
Non-resistance is about flow, much like a river encountering an obstacle. Instead of stopping and tying itself in knots, the river continues to flow, adjusting its course around whatever stands in its way. Or simply backing up and waiting its turn.
[Like recently in Tŝilhqot’in territory (in central British Columbia), when a landslide blocked an entire river for days. Eventually, the river breached the blockage sending a torrent downstream.]
Non-conformity doesn’t have to be a loud rebellion or a bursting torrent—it can be a quiet, steady commitment to doing your work, your way, regardless of what others think. Bit by authentic bit.
Practical Steps to Dull the Triple Threat
So how do you combat the Triple Threat and operate from your personal authority — from your place of authenticity?
1. Recognize Resistance
The first step to overcoming it is naming it. Resistance is fear in disguise. Don’t let it paralyze you. No need to get all up in arms about it either. Maybe even just give them an ‘ol Alexa “Boop” (If you’ve watched the show Schitt’s Creek)
2. Practice Non-Resistance
Instead of fighting fire with fire — and trying to battle and extinguish every thought of self-doubt or resistance, observe it, say hello, and maybe even write it out.
Once written out (or sketched), say “Hi there little resistance mobiles, I’m just going to put you over here in the Parking Lot for a little while.”
Or, whatever process might work for you. “Just show up,” is very common advice - or “Put your ass where your heart wants to be” as Pressfield recommends.
Yes, these can work, however so can other forms of non-resistance. Discover what works for you.
3. Question Conformity
Ask yourself (and write it out): where in your life are you potentially conforming to meet the expectations of others? Why?
Reflect on whether these choices align with your authentic self or could be the path of least resistance. Make a commitment to be guided far more by your authentic self than your conforming self.
For me, regularly publishing my illustrations and drawings has assisted a lot.
As well as I often feel some resistance mousing over to the “publish” button and pressing it. I try to use that as an instigator to do it more frequently.
In the online digital realm, we all see the ‘advice’. Some of us even take courses to get more. There is an endless array of “do this, then this, then this”.
Filter it with a fine mesh. Play with discovering what works for you and what aligns with your authentic self. Just because it worked for some big Creator, does not mean it will work for you.
I will often point this out when I see some single, 20-something, no kids, bachelor making some statement about what “everyone should be doing in The Creator Economy”. Good on them for what they’ve achieved, but try doing it with 3 little kids (for example).
4. Igniting Personal Authority
Each time you decide from a place of internal clarity, you charge up the batteries and engines on your personal authority, agency, and authenticity.
Over time, you’ll find that your actions and decisions align more with your authentic self, rather than external approval.
It’s important to keep in mind, our authentic self, our soul, is not a static entity. It is flowing too. And, our souls really don’t give two shits about how many subscribers or followers we have.
Or how many likes our authentic story got.
Your Own Authentic Authority
Fear, Resistance, and Conformity will always be there. They are also not all bad.
For example, I appreciate the ‘out of bounds’ signs on ski hills. There are times when the fear and resistance sparked by ropes and ‘danger’ signs are a good opportunity to conform.
However, in the realm of being creative, of playing with being a digital entrepreneur, of dabbling in the Creator Economy (full time or side gigs) — build tools and approaches to ensure you’re not making decisions that support staying small and safe.
Getting to a place of authenticity, of being your own authority, of acting with personal agency, is always a work-in-progress.
I remind myself often, I’m not here as a digital entrepreneur, creator, and writer to “fit in”—I’m here to create, to innovate, to push against conformity (e.g., Box Cutter) and engage in the work my Soul intends to illuminate through me.
How about you?
So, where in your life are you conforming?
Where might you be resisting your authentic creative potential?
And most importantly, how can you continue igniting your authentic authority today?
If you’re interested, here’s a ‘friend link’ to The Learning Journals Initiative story on Medium. (friend link means anyone can read it, you don’t have to be a Medium member).
See you soon with the next Box Cutter Co. issue.
In the meantime, appreciate those of you leaving comments, sending notes, and pressing the ♥️