Dreams Are Overrated (How An Anti-Vision Drives Real Change Right Now)

The Soulpreneur Series Free Issue No. 23

Oct 18, 2024

There’s no shortage of messages online selling “dreams” and “visions.” Coaches, gurus, influencers—all pushing similar fluffy, bullshitty messages:

“Create a Huge Vision!” “Dream Big!”

And while dreaming and visioning are exciting, there’s a problem with these types of messages:

We don’t live in someday.
A vision without experience is never enough.

When life gets messy (and it does) — you don’t and won’t rely on dreams to pull you through. You will rely on lessons and hard-earned experiences that have shaped who you are.

Now.

Too many people promote a future that hasn’t happened yet and might never.

👉 What’s missing?

A grounding in Now.

Visions and dreams are helpful, yes, but they’re not lived. (Often, they never will be). They are often ambiguously “out there…”

What’s real is the person you’ve become based on your past experiences—the challenges, the pain, the growth, the learning.

This person, shaped by real life, is who you bring to every present moment. Not a future self, not a dreamed-up ideal.

Once the dreaming and visioning are done, we all have to return to earth and live in the present moment.

No matter how much you dream, you still live in the present—a present deeply influenced by your past. That’s how we’re wired.

Our brains are hardwired by (and for) experience. Perspectives.

Reality pulls you back to what you’ve lived through, not abstract ideas you haven’t yet encountered (like the frayed, sprayed potential paths in the image above).

When things get tough, it’s your lived experiences, not visions, that your mind and body return to. They are your strongest foundation.

This doesn’t mean we are dictated by or held in place by our past. Not at all. But dreamily, visioning about a future self always comes back to the present to make the next choice.

Living in a World Obsessed with Future Selves

The culture of “dream big” is enticing. It’s fun to dream.

But how do you avoid getting lost in it?
How do you avoid floating in a sea of abstract visions and anchor yourself in the real world?

Over the years, I’ve often called this “workshop syndrome.” We can probably all relate. We leave our ‘regular’ lives to attend an inspiring workshop or retreat. We eat well. Feel engaged yacking with others.

As the retreat wraps up, we think, “That’s it! My life is going to be different now!” We commit to staying in touch with all our lovely workshop colleagues. We talk about getting together over the next year.

And then…

…we return to real life.

This doesn’t mean we should lay in stagnation or status quo. It means taking a realistic, incremental approach to change and building toward a future self.

Here are three ways I try to implement this, and have implemented these over the past two-and-a-half years since walking away from a decade-plus career and a good, healthy public sector salary.

1. Trust experiences

They are our strongest guides, especially the ones we refuse to tolerate again—like a toxic workplace or relationships that drain you. These are lessons learned the hard way.

Use them. Draw from them.

2. Live the power of an Anti-Vision

Instead of being driven solely by where you want to go, focus on what you refuse to return to. An anti-vision is built on what you will never accept again. It’s more concrete, more real, and rooted in your past.

3. Balance dreams with lived reality

The present moment is where life is always lived. Period. Choices are made here, and real action happens here. Yes, your future matters, but your past profoundly shapes how you handle the present AND think about the future.

More on putting these into action below.👇

Everything Happens Now

Otherwise, it has already happened (past) or might happen (future). Dreaming is great, but don’t forget where we live: In the present.

Dreaming is like a quick all-inclusive vacation—refreshing while it lasts, but when it’s over and you return home, there’s laundry to fold and meals to make.

The future is fun to ponder and important to plan for, but it’s not real—and never will be until it becomes the present. See, there we are back here, now.

Reflecting Forward (From Now)

Visions can certainly inspire us, but our experiences shape us.

While dreaming big has its place, living with intention now is what moves the needle.

For example, over many years of living and working in western rural and northern Canada, I’ve seen friends and colleagues leave home for treatment or self-improvement retreats—seeking to become a better version of themselves.

But when they returned, their old life was right there, waiting for them.

The hard truth? No matter how transformative the experience is, if your present reality stays the same, you will most likely stay the same (other than one day older, then one day older, and so on…)

It’s one thing to dream about future possibility, even take some steps to create a desired future self — but it’s another to make lasting changes stick — in the ever-present present.

Here are three actionable steps to try. These are intended to integrate past experiences and potentially create meaningful and lasting shifts.

1. Audit Your Life for Actionable Lessons

Reflect on the most pivotal moments in your past. Ask yourself:

What lessons can I apply to my life today?
What situations, environments, or behaviours no longer serve me?
How can I use my past experiences to inform daily actions rather than waiting for change to happen?

Keep a Learning Journal for reflections. Note down specific lessons from past experiences. If possible, at the end of each day, write down one small action you took and one that you can take to implement those lessons immediately.

For me, when I walked away from steady, corporate public sector employment in early 2022, a Learning Journal and auditing life experiences have been critical.

By documenting them, I can return to them regularly and see how far I’ve come and where I can take more steps. This publication is intended as a public Learning Journal.

2. Implement Your Anti-Vision Regularly

An Anti-vision is a clear, unshakable picture of what you refuse to tolerate or return to in your life.

It’s built from experiences—failures, toxic environments, and painful lessons—that shaped you into who you are now.

Your Anti-vision isn’t about striving toward some idealized future — it’s about ensuring you never go back to certain patterns, people, or situations. I have always found this a far stronger motivator for change and steady steps forward — than a ‘vision’ or ‘dreams.’

Because nothing lights a fire under my ass faster and hotter than thoughts of slipping back into a life I worked so hard to leave behind.

Positive thinking and future visions are fine, but the threat of returning to a reality I can’t stand keeps me moving.

Think about what you don’t want to go back to—what are the habits, jobs, or environments you’ve outgrown?

Use that anti-vision to set boundaries and make intentional choices that keep you from falling back into old patterns.

Create a personal Anti-Vision Checklist of non-negotiables.

Every week, review it and assess whether you’re living up to the boundaries you’ve set. Adjust your actions to keep yourself moving forward, away from what you refuse to accept again.

3. Stop Dreaming, Start Doing (Don’t Rely on Habits Alone)

Dreaming about the future is comforting, but it won’t get you there.

You’ve heard it before: “Break it down into small, daily actions.”

But here’s the twist: habits alone won’t save you. They’re easy to fall back on, but they’re also easy to hide behind—especially when the real work demands messiness, adaptability, and flexibility.

The systems you build matter, yes.

But they can also become a crutch—a way to avoid the real friction that drives progress (e.g. feeds fuel to the fire under your butt)

The danger of obsessing over habits is they can lull you into thinking you’re making progress when really you’re just spinning and making noise.

I called this publication Box Cutter Co. for a reason. It’s about more than just showing up—it’s about shaking things up. Looking at things from many angles.

Don’t let routines turn into comfort zones. Systems are tools, not the endgame.

Pick a practice that scares the shit out of you, something that forces you to grow, to think differently, to be uncomfortable (for many that’s posting perspectives online).

Commit to it for 10, 20, maybe 30 days, not to check a box, but to feel the mess and inconsistency of real progress.

Track how often you fail—how it stings and pisses you off — because that’s where the growth happens. Then rework your approaches to accommodate the real world, not the ideal.

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