Is it Possible to be a Soul-preneur? (How to Move From 'Having' to 'Being'...)

The Solopreneur Series Free Issue No. 9

This thinking has flooded my brain recently. What is the difference between ‘having’ and ‘being’?

In the late 1970s near the end of his life, social psychologist and philosopher Erich Fromm wrote a book "To Have or To Be?" (1976).

It was the first book of his that I came across. And what a book to find. (or maybe it found me?). After reading it, I began to accumulate more of his books.

I’ve thought about it over the years since reading it — and in the last few months this tensioned thinking has come flooding back.

This idea of the differences between “having” and “being”.

In this issue of The Solopreneur Series, I share some reflections on how this is impacting how I’m building digital writing businesses and navigating the worlds of “Being” a Solopreneur.

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Having is Grasping

Did you know the ancient roots of the word "have"- is *kap "grasp"?

The ancient root of "being" is *bheue- meaning "to exist, grow"?

(Ironically when we add "be" to "have" we get "behave", which means to conduct ones' self in a certain way)

I've been thinking about these distinctions a lot lately — especially in the rapidly expanding $250 billion (annual) "Creator Economy". In some earlier Box Cutter Co. issues I explored and shared thoughts on how to build a business of one, a creative business, without losing one’s soul.

Since launching into building creative, digital writing businesses (from scratch) — I’ve continued to reflect on HOW I want to be building and launching these enterprises.

It’s been a critically important component of what I’m doing. In many other articles and stories, I’ve shared how ‘soul-sucking’ and ‘soul-shrivelling’ much of my ‘employment’ years were.

And, it’s not all because of workplace toxicity or shitty bosses or crappy jobs. I was quite fortunate and purposeful about the work I pursued. I was able to engage in ‘development’ work within institutions that was important ‘social change ’-type work.

However, the confines of 8-5, too many meaningless meetings, floods of bullshit lingo, leadership-fluff, and management mumbo-jumbo — combined with feeling like a monkey in the jungle, forced to live in a box with fluorescent lights…

Well… it shrivelled my soul.

I’ve lived a purpose-full life. I’ve done things with purpose. I’ve pursued activities, relationships, and experiences with intention and goals that ensure I don’t spend too much time living in Regrets-ville.

In my experience, it’s a far too populated community. It’s 3 neighborhoods of — Woulda, Coulda, and Shoulda — full of ageing infrastructure, miserable residents, and shrinking souls.

(But you’d probably never guess… because the lawns are perfectly green and mowed, the fences are pristine, photos of children that live in these neighbourhoods are plastered all over Instagram and Facebook, and so on).

From the outside looking in - “everything is awesome…”

But from the inside looking out… are floods of:

• “I wish I had…”

• “I will do that when I…”

• “I could never do that….”

But there is hope. It is possible to step into the zones of not-knowing, uncertainty, and possibility… But it takes a lot of Unlearning past programming.

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You ‘should’ HAVE…

Here are 3 of the most passive-aggressive words you may ever come across. They’re laced with toxicity.

1. Starting a sentence with “You” — as in a directive — frankly… that often doesn’t end well.

2. We have a saying in our household… “Don’t should all over the place…” And “Don’t should on me…” Telling people what they ‘should’ do is disrespectful and aggressive (more often than not).

3. Remember that to “have” is to ‘grasp’

In about 20 months of building and posting online, taking some courses, watching, studying, asking and so on… There is an immense amount of focus across so many platforms, so many gurus, and so many how-to guides that focus on Having.

• "Having" this many impressions
• "Having" this many Followers
• "Having" this many likes

And, so on, and so on.

Then the “You should have…” statements emanate from there.

• You should have 1,000 Subscribers before you turn on paid subscriptions

• You should have 10,000 Followers before you sell a product

• You should have lead magnets and marketing funnels

• You should post for 30 days straight on X/Twitter

I’m thinking maybe there’s far too much ‘should’ on the Internet. And, there’s a direct link to “having”.

A "having" mode, is characterized by acquisition and possession.
Often of material goods, status, and power.

How often do you hear people talk about "being" a job?

Never?

That's because we "have" a job.

I've noticed such a shift in the last 18 months, as someone who walked way from "having" a career...

To "being" a thinker and writer. To "being" a Solopreneur.

I don't "have" Solopreneurship. I choose it. And... I'm 'being' it.

A "being" mode, according to Fromm (and others) is about existing authentically and genuinely.

It's a life lived where value is derived from experiences of life itself, along with personal growth, change and inner development.

Fromm argued that true happiness and freedom come from the "being" mode -- which facilitates deeper connections with others and a more fulfilling personal existence.

Recently, I've been reading a lot online about "having an email list" and "having lots of Followers" and directions to "write for your audience" and all sorts of lists of things that one 'should' have...

It wears me down.

What if... rather than trying to build businesses and enterprises that are all about 'having' certain things...

...we build businesses and enterprises (side or full) that are 'being' certain things? Like…

• being valuable (rather than ‘adding value’)

• being connected and building change

• being authentic and real

• being impactful

For folks who write, and create, and publish (e.g., Creators) — we have unique opportunities to shape our businesses not just as entities that "have" products, followers, or influence, but more as living embodiments of our values, passions, and visions.

What happens when we shift our focus from 'having' to 'being'?

Rather than seeing our work as a means to an end (like accumulating wealth or status), but as an extension of our identity, beliefs, and purpose-full goals?

"Having" is about accumulating, about 'grasping' (to clients, to products, to how big one can grow).

Being is about existing.

About experiences and engagement. It’s more about depth and exploration — rather than possessing and achieving.

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Soul-preneur?

As cheesy as it may sound, I like how Soul-preneur rolls around. It reminds me of why I set out on this path.

It was not a simple, nor easy decision to walk away cold-turkey from a decade-plus career. When I walked, I was paid very well for what I did. I could have ridden that cushy merry-go-round for years.

Paid down our mortgage, our student loans, and got some money ‘socked away’ for kids’ college. (and so on, and so on…)

• But what would have continued to happen to my soul?

It would have continued to shrivel up like a little raisin. And when one’s soul shrivels, their ability to relate well with others and live a fulfilling life — also begins to dry up.

It’s like climate change and drought on the soul.

We only have so much time on the planet. And, we really don’t know when that clock will stop. I wrote in Box Cutter Co. this week about a colleague who just recently passed away. Went to sleep and didn’t wake up.

He was getting ready to retire from his long career and had kept postponing it.

That is simply not how I want the pathway of my life to go. Or, at least if it does, I want to ensure I’ve taken a good solid run at building the life — and means for living that life (e.g. businesses).

What do you think?

Is this the silly side run of some idealist? Or, is there some value and merit in this?

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Would love to hear your questions - drop a like, a comment, or re-post on channels you navigate.

The next Free issue of Box Cutter Co. will be out shortly.