Moving Beyond Resolutions to What Really Drives a Soul-Balanced Life (and Creative Business)

The Soulpreneur Series Free Issue No. 29

Did you know that January's name comes from Roman times and the two-faced god Janus?

Janus’ two faces represent beginnings and endings (and the tensions between them)

And here we are.

It’s that time of year again with the usual buzz: Resolutions. Goals. Metrics.

There is endless noise and kerfuffle about how we need to do more, be more, and achieve more. It’s a similar script every year:

1. Set resolutions

2. Make them SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, etc.)

3. Chase achievements

4. Measure progress

And so it goes… With most who set them failing… flailing… falling short… moving on to other things. (I’ve been there, too).

More often than not, we set goals not just as destinations but as metrics—yardsticks to measure ourselves against some set of external standards.

Did we lose the weight? Quit the habit? Hit the revenue target? Gain the ‘followers’. Check off boxes on some list?

And what happens internally?

• Hit the goal? Dopamine rush with anticipation. A fleeting sense of success — quickly replaced by the pressure of the next goal (or ‘thing’)

• Miss it? Disappointment. Guilt. Frustration. Cortisol release because of feelings of stress.

It’s not just personal—it’s cultural.

Resolutions are frequently based on assumptions we need fixing and are never quite enough as we are.

They focus on deficits, what is lacking, and what is ‘wrong.’ They often root our sense of worth in outcomes or measures only loosely within our control.

Enough-ness is a powerful mindset and decision.

This is where I find having a strong “Shits to Give” meter is critical. I use this one:

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Different Questions

What if we step back and ask different questions, like:

• What is the opposite of a goal?

• What is the opposite of achievement?

Generally, the answer to these questions leans to the negative (like the diagram above on the left side)

• A lack of Goals (or not reaching them) dissolves into aimlessness, obstacles, or feelings of failure.

• A lack of Achievements (or not reaching them) crumbles into losses, misses, or abandonment.

And this is the trap.

We swing between the highs of dopamine when we “win” and the cortisol-induced lows when we “fall short, when we “lose”.

“Progress” and “productivity” can feel like walking a tightrope, and where falling off seems inevitable.

What’s worse, we often tie these swings to things outside of our control:

• The economy

• Our boss or supervisor

• AI, politics, layoffs, or some imagined future crisis

Many folks spend hours scrolling, complaining, worrying about what might happen, or blaming the world for why things haven’t worked out.

Meanwhile, the real power sits unused. In the things we can control and influence.

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What Persistence Builds?

Over the past two years, persistence—not perfection or ‘consistency’—has been my focus.

Persistence… I can control and influence. Persistence has facilitated quiet growth, experimentation, and evolution.

For example, in the past year:

• Box Cutter Co. has grown to over 800 subscribers, with an open rate close to 50%, and several paying subscribers (thank you!)

• Almost 100 Free issues published, including the launch of the new Soulpreneur Series.

• Over 100 stories published on Medium (and over $2k in earnings) and almost 8,000 connections

• Over 1,000 new connections on LinkedIn (and almost 1 million impressions)

• A doubling of connections on X (Twitter).

These numbers aren’t something I obsess over. I watch them with curiosity, not pressure. They’re signals, not trophies. Signposts, not goal-posts.

I can influence these, but I can’t control them. They tell me what’s working, what’s resonating, and where I might explore further.

And, sometimes, they tell me little at all.

What I can control is how much I write, post and publish. And what I write and post about. I can’t control algorithms or platform changes.

Focus on things you can control.

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What Can We Control?

While we don’t control the economy or the world around us, we control something much more powerful: our Self and our choices.

The roots of the word “control” contain the Latin word contra "against" + rotulus, which is a form of rota "wheel." (Ever tried to push against a rolling wheel?)

One of the central drivers and motivators for me leaving corporate public sector employment was more freedom of choice and control in my life. I felt stuck on a hamster wheel.

I regularly keep notes in my Learning Journals, providing simple, honest reminders of small things I have some control over every single day, like:

• How I interpret situations

• Choices I make (and can make)

• How I treat myself and others

• How to spend my time and energy

• What beliefs I hold—and whether I’m willing to challenge or change them

These aren’t resolutions. They aren’t grand, sweeping changes tied to some distant outcome. They’re manageable, immediate, daily actions and decisions.

They’re ways to live in alignment with what matters — no permission required.

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What I’m Focusing On in 2025

This year, I’m focusing on what I can control (and influence):

1. Showing up persistently, even when it’s hard. Persistence isn’t about perfect attendance (e.g. consistency)—it’s about staying committed to the work, even when progress feels slow, moving backward, or sticky.

2. Sharing ideas that feel alive and authentic. Not to hit a metric but to create connection and meaning (for me and others).

3. Building projects aligned with my values. Projects not just “performing” but feel purposeful and soul-aligned.

And here’s a few other things I can control and intend to focus on:

• The curiosity I bring to each day (we only have so many)

• What I choose to create, even when no one is watching

• Whether I reflect, adapt, and try again after setbacks

• How I show up when things don’t go as planned

• The boundaries I set to protect my energy

• The thoughts I challenge and let go of

• The time I give to things that matter

• How I treat others—and myself

I don’t “resolve” to achieve any one thing. I intend to keep exploring, experimenting, and evolving. We only have so much time — I intend to use mine in ways of my design and choice.

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Moving Beyond Resolutions

Resolutions often anchor us to rigid outcomes, but life thrives in the in-between spaces:

• Places where we can strive and thrive without obsession.

• Explore with curiosity and wonder (no destination required)

• Grow without measuring every 10,000th step.

Instead of tying ourselves to a resolution, we can focus on building and living systems adapted to uncertainty and aligned with our values and principles (and changing those when needed).

I have found it’s not about chasing anticipatory dopamine-highs of “wins” (small or large) or fearing the cortisol induction following a “loss”—it’s about finding balance in the tensioned rhythms of life.

(Defining ‘wins’ and ‘losses’ in creative work is a silly endeavour, anyways)

Living life with in-tention. In the tensions between beginnings and endings.

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How about you?

• Are you rethinking resolutions this year? Maybe abandoned them years ago

• How do you feel about living in tensioned in-between spaces?

• Leaning into some uncertainty and unknowns?

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Happy Holidays and New Year.